For many people, the 1984 T-800 is their Terminator. It’s just a pity that only so much of that Terminator is still intact. HASTA LA VISTA, BABY.

Mega blocks. Mega highways. Mega City One. Convulsing. Choking. Breaking under its own weight. Citizens in fear of the street. The gun. The gang. Only one thing fighting for order in the chaos: the men and women of the Hall of Justice. Juries. Executioners. Judges. And on bitchin’ awesome motorcycles as well.

What are you buying your pals for Christmas this year? Books? DVDs? Knives? BOOOOOOORING! Real gifts need to be awesome. Real gifts need to show that you’ve put some thought into them. Real gifts need to be perfect organisms, devoted simply to survival. Perfection. And I have just the gift for any of you who happen to have watched any of the Alien movies one too many times.

Wandering adventurer, savage barbarian, the greatest swordswoman of the Hyborian Age...yep, sounds like Red Sonja to me!

Maybe you prefer a lead character in an anime who knows what his life-mission is, and intends to accomplish it with a swing of a half-ton of iron that can go through monsters like a hot knife through butter. I am of course, talking about Guts. Or Gutsu, I think. Anime dubs are weird.

Stormtroopers look the business, yo. But Captain Phasma? She’s not only the field commander of a new generation of troopers: She’s the boss who’s taking names and kicking ass.

Beyond genetic discrimination, there’s one other big problem with being a mutant: Giant robots. Or more specifically, giant Sentinel robots which can lock on to a mutant power signature and introduce Homo Superior to Machina Hand Laser. Still think being a mutie is cool?

The real Green Lantern isn’t Deadpool in a horribly animated super-suit. Green Lantern is cocky, bold and willing to take risks. He’s the original man without fear, a space-cop with jurisdiction over not just our planet, but an entire quadrant of the galaxy. And he also wields the most formidable weapon in the galaxy.

Tom Hiddleston nailed the role of the adopted son of Odin, to the point where I pretty much would have no problem with him ruling all nine realms. Seriously, King Loki! What could possibly go wrong? Just remember to kneel before him.

I’d sell Geoff’s organs to one day meet the legend that is Stan Lee, but who knows if that’ll ever happen. The next best thing however? A mini-Stan Lee to kidnap I mean acquire and tell my figures: ‘Nuff said.

Imagine being on the wrong side of a Batman who also happens to be especially grumpy on the night before Christmas. That’s the idea behind Batman: Noel, which placed a Dark Knight spin on a Christmas Carol. Yes, Batman was essentially Ebenezer Scrooge, but with more leather, Batarangs and fist-based justice. It was awesome.

A Sith apprentice with agility of a tiger and even more fierce when cornered, Darth Maul was a villain who deserved better and instead found himself getting his role slashed in the final cut. Heh, slashed.